A Contest! Best Bad Strip Club Story

After a story about stolen tequila I was told in response to my Lumberyard review and tweets about a stripper throwing a crab at me, I would like to propose a contest! Comment below with your best bad or hilarious (or badly hilarious) strip club story*.

The winner will get some special prize from me... What exactly that is depends on how many winners there are, and how winners are determined depends on, well, how many people actually participate in my contest.

*please no body shaming or slut shaming strippers kthx