This is a part of my ongoing Brothel Life Reflections series, in which I welcome personal questions for behind-the-scenes details of working at the Sagebrush Ranch. Tweet your questions at me, or DM me if you prefer to remain anonymous! @vitriol4fun asked, Did sex work negatively impact your libido in non-professional sex situations?
Yes it definitely did. I mentioned in an earlier post that we worked 14 hour shifts, 6 days a week. For me, given the pacing and how my body works around sleep/rest/focus, I often didn't have enough energy to feel sexual, and if I'd had a particularly busy weekend, I didn't have the vaginal stamina for anything extracurricular.
It also changed how I viewed sex in general. The transactional nature of it made me seriously reconsider when and what kinds of sex I wanted to have for free. However, this ultimately was a good thing for me, as recognizing when I was trading sex for things one should expect as standards in a relationship (like, respect, affection, compassion) was a major part of my healing process. I was able to more clearly recognize when I was uncomfortable with something and set boundaries around it.
I ultimately didn't have very much extracurricular sex when I was actively doing sex work. Even when dating Alice Little, we only sort of got it on outside of work once, and at that I called it quits halfway through because I was uncomfortable with context. I did bang out one of my coworkers, Mickey, a few times when she was cranky and badly needed the D, but that was more about doing a public service (and also, she's hot, so, you know, there's that) than getting off myself.
I eventually was seriously considering leaving sex work because I very badly needed to feel desired by somebody I also desired in a romantic sense. It was while I figured out my transition out (which was only meant to be temporary) that I got unexpectedly kicked out. Now that I'm feeling much more immersed in desire and comfortable in my sexuality, I'm reconsidering that plan: I miss my primary source of value being my brains, and my body a fun and positive sexy accessory to that.